Showing posts with label broken. Show all posts
Showing posts with label broken. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Kaagaz Ke Phool - a review

Kaagaz Ke Phool - a film by Guru Dutt, is considered a classic. Having watched it just yesterday in college for the first time the impression is still fresh in my head. The opening and closing scenes of the film are striking and well thought, something that stays with you for a long time. The movie begins with an old and lonely director Suresh Sinha played by Guru Dutt who is standing in front of a studio where a big statue is partially shown in the scene (rendering only the feet visible). The feet of the statue frame the aged man as he stands; this is symbolic of the main theme of the film, which is about the frailness and diminutive authority and control that man has over things that surround him and also his own life.

The flashback sequence shows us a magnificent set, grand and impressive it rightly highlights the glitz and glamour of his golden days at the peak as he reminisces his past. Some of the scenes where young girls flock to get a glimpse of him and maybe an autograph, and people attracted by the show of films, are really well thought and that shows in the execution.

As the plot progresses we see the director – Suresh Sinha and his find Shanti fall in love with each other. As this growing closeness causes more trouble in his already troubled married life. More so with the coming of Pammi who extracts a promise from her to leave, Shanti finally goes away to a village and becomes a teacher. Suresh on the other hand, can’t stand on his own, without Pammi, his daughter and now having Shanti left too – he is completely alone and depressed. Rocky (his brother in law) brings her back, in order to get Sinha’s life back on track. But when Shanti tries helping Suresh, his ego comes in the way and he refuses. He would never take help from anybody, he rather surrender himself to self-pity and alcohol.

I feel he was not what we nowadays call, that ‘into’ the girl. The film depicts two people who understand each other very well but can't be together. But I still have some questions. When Pammi leaves him, why doesn’t Suresh go up to Shanti and resolve the issue and show her that her absence didn’t really help salvage his marriage. Also Suresh enjoys her simple hero-worship of him without really responding. He just likes being loved unconditionally and Shanti knows this. In the end nobody learns anything, nobody cries, and Suresh dies in the pit. Life moves on. Suresh in particular, but Shanti too, have plenty of opportunities to improve the course of their lives, and their persistent refusal to take advantage of them, can get on your nerves. They refuse to take responsibility for there own happiness.

But the cinematography as always is a highlight of Dutt's films. The use of lighting is fitting, as it accentuates the grimness. The use of light during the screening of Sinha’s ‘Devdas’ at the premiere is a good example of the clever use of light. Dutt also used overlapping images and, the camera often moves and lingers creating a mesmerizing effect. ‘Waqt ne kiya’ is a memorable track from the film not only because of meaningful lyrics and haunting voices, but also because of the way it has been beautifully shot. The camera work is remarkable, to V.K. Murthy’s credict who created the light beams and lenses for Dutt. The sliding lime lights and later sliding martinis worked very well, they just show the creativity even more in the making of the film.


It is India’s first cinemascope film; has wonderful sets, good direction, fine lighting, superb acting, well choreographed frames to boast about, and in all a very well made film!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Shortest Poem

In July that year, when he first showed me emotions,
I saw a person who could cry for me,
Who felt pain if i was away. :)

But in April this year, when I saw him lie on my face,
It all came crashing down!
End of story. 


(Written at my Maasi's place while I was out with my parents, last piece written about my breakup. Will never write anything about it. Doesn't deserve that space in my head or heart anymore. And I thought he cared. :I )

27th May 2013, 05.04 pm. 

Saturday, May 11, 2013

I bought your freedom

I bought your freedom my soft toy,
My green bunny, my cuddly boy
For this day, I saved my cash
So I could buy things and make it match,
Our expenses were almost the same,
He spent a little more, but he earned as well
I am still in college, so you can tell
How hard it must have been for me
Right in front my break up, I could see!

I could see it clearly coming my way,
So I did the best I could to pay,
Him somehow the money for my cute little baby,
Cause I knew that is something I could never give up, maybe
A clever decision, I am proud of it now
Decluttering my life, getting space to grow.

I bought your freedom my soft toy,
My green bunny, my cuddly boy!

Today when removing all those memory triggers from my life,
I am glad I literally ‘bought’my bunny back!
Leaving him would’ve be even more painful than the actual breakup,
It was love at first sight,
It was love at first sight,
His bright green fur, lights up my life! :D

(I know the last two lines are hilarious, but I wrote this poem in jest and it suited the mood and the flow, I was happy writing it, so didn’t change anything)  :)
written while preparing for exams on 12th may 2013 at 12:45 pm

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

It felt so right 'to me'

I held onto his every word,
I believed everything, he said
blind to the core
where the fuck was my head? =0

Proud of my brains,
intelligent than the rest,
that's what I thought,
about myself,
till I met you!

You who put everything in perspective,
I know now, I too do have a heart
Cause otherwise it wouldn't have hurt so much.
I thought I coudln't cry for anyone
except myself, but now I cry every night
For could I not see
it clearly then?
How could I be so stupid?

Even now when I know the reality,
Why do I still believe everything he said,
At times when I am alone or even
when with people
A song or a line reminds me of him
tears well up my eyes and I cry.

My gut feeling was always right,
but this is proving me wrong,
and that hurts more than anything
it felt so right 'to me'
But it felt so right 'to me'

Written during the end of March 2013 in class.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

It’s very difficult for me

Look it’s very difficult for me
To pretend as if everything’s all right
When nothing is going right between us
It’s difficult to keep laughing
When all I want is to cry
 I like talking to you
But when we have to part
Talking everyday to you
Will only make it harder for me later
Having said that, do whatever you feel is right
You know better
I don’t want to hold any hard feelings or grudges towards you
Please don’t make it hard for me than it already is!

Written on 14th February 2013 – Valentine’s Day bwahahahaha 

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Crossroads

Crossroads always come in your life
You choose one and let the other go
I always chose the one – right, good, practical for me
But, this one time it’s difficult
My life changes if I take the wrong turn, take the wrong pick or go with the wrong option
But no, it’s not only about that
Had it been, I would have been hesitant
In choosing my education, profession, even my location
But this one time, it’s different
Matters of the heart, fuck up the head
Rose coloured glasses, blur your vision
Confusion, utter madness takes over
And this frustration wells up my eyes
And I cry.

Why is it so difficult to let go and move on?
Why is it so difficult to forget and start anew, afresh?
All will be, all right in time to come
My heart will heal and pieces fuse back into one,
But this period, of deciding to hold on or let go,
Is difficult, it’s killing me.
No I am not depressed,
I can still laugh and make people laugh,
Still do my work well, and go out and shop
But despite all the pretense, the outward appearance
I know something’s amiss
I am not me anymore
And I want this to end.
I am afraid of taking a wrong turn, choosing the wrong bend.

Crossroads always come in life,
You choose one and let the other go,
That is how we grow!

(I hope I am able to choose right and grow out of it soon)

Written on 12th February 2013

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Sometimes I feel...

Sometimes I feel you mean so little to me,
Do I even love you?
Love you enough as to stay with you for long even if not forever!
Then I go back through all the memories we’ve shared,
Through all the stupid pranks and silly fights,
Our nicknames and code words,
My laughter that echoes through years that have passed,
Between you, me, between both of us.
Would I have it someone?
Would I like to have it with someone else?
I am unsure,
But when I have in you all that I need,
Why should I look for another you?
You mean a lot to me,
Yes I love you,
Love you enough to stay with you for long and maybe even forever!

written on 14 november 2012, 12:34 raat ko 
Showing posts with label broken. Show all posts
Showing posts with label broken. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Kaagaz Ke Phool - a review

Kaagaz Ke Phool - a film by Guru Dutt, is considered a classic. Having watched it just yesterday in college for the first time the impression is still fresh in my head. The opening and closing scenes of the film are striking and well thought, something that stays with you for a long time. The movie begins with an old and lonely director Suresh Sinha played by Guru Dutt who is standing in front of a studio where a big statue is partially shown in the scene (rendering only the feet visible). The feet of the statue frame the aged man as he stands; this is symbolic of the main theme of the film, which is about the frailness and diminutive authority and control that man has over things that surround him and also his own life.

The flashback sequence shows us a magnificent set, grand and impressive it rightly highlights the glitz and glamour of his golden days at the peak as he reminisces his past. Some of the scenes where young girls flock to get a glimpse of him and maybe an autograph, and people attracted by the show of films, are really well thought and that shows in the execution.

As the plot progresses we see the director – Suresh Sinha and his find Shanti fall in love with each other. As this growing closeness causes more trouble in his already troubled married life. More so with the coming of Pammi who extracts a promise from her to leave, Shanti finally goes away to a village and becomes a teacher. Suresh on the other hand, can’t stand on his own, without Pammi, his daughter and now having Shanti left too – he is completely alone and depressed. Rocky (his brother in law) brings her back, in order to get Sinha’s life back on track. But when Shanti tries helping Suresh, his ego comes in the way and he refuses. He would never take help from anybody, he rather surrender himself to self-pity and alcohol.

I feel he was not what we nowadays call, that ‘into’ the girl. The film depicts two people who understand each other very well but can't be together. But I still have some questions. When Pammi leaves him, why doesn’t Suresh go up to Shanti and resolve the issue and show her that her absence didn’t really help salvage his marriage. Also Suresh enjoys her simple hero-worship of him without really responding. He just likes being loved unconditionally and Shanti knows this. In the end nobody learns anything, nobody cries, and Suresh dies in the pit. Life moves on. Suresh in particular, but Shanti too, have plenty of opportunities to improve the course of their lives, and their persistent refusal to take advantage of them, can get on your nerves. They refuse to take responsibility for there own happiness.

But the cinematography as always is a highlight of Dutt's films. The use of lighting is fitting, as it accentuates the grimness. The use of light during the screening of Sinha’s ‘Devdas’ at the premiere is a good example of the clever use of light. Dutt also used overlapping images and, the camera often moves and lingers creating a mesmerizing effect. ‘Waqt ne kiya’ is a memorable track from the film not only because of meaningful lyrics and haunting voices, but also because of the way it has been beautifully shot. The camera work is remarkable, to V.K. Murthy’s credict who created the light beams and lenses for Dutt. The sliding lime lights and later sliding martinis worked very well, they just show the creativity even more in the making of the film.


It is India’s first cinemascope film; has wonderful sets, good direction, fine lighting, superb acting, well choreographed frames to boast about, and in all a very well made film!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

The Shortest Poem

In July that year, when he first showed me emotions,
I saw a person who could cry for me,
Who felt pain if i was away. :)

But in April this year, when I saw him lie on my face,
It all came crashing down!
End of story. 


(Written at my Maasi's place while I was out with my parents, last piece written about my breakup. Will never write anything about it. Doesn't deserve that space in my head or heart anymore. And I thought he cared. :I )

27th May 2013, 05.04 pm. 

Saturday, May 11, 2013

I bought your freedom

I bought your freedom my soft toy,
My green bunny, my cuddly boy
For this day, I saved my cash
So I could buy things and make it match,
Our expenses were almost the same,
He spent a little more, but he earned as well
I am still in college, so you can tell
How hard it must have been for me
Right in front my break up, I could see!

I could see it clearly coming my way,
So I did the best I could to pay,
Him somehow the money for my cute little baby,
Cause I knew that is something I could never give up, maybe
A clever decision, I am proud of it now
Decluttering my life, getting space to grow.

I bought your freedom my soft toy,
My green bunny, my cuddly boy!

Today when removing all those memory triggers from my life,
I am glad I literally ‘bought’my bunny back!
Leaving him would’ve be even more painful than the actual breakup,
It was love at first sight,
It was love at first sight,
His bright green fur, lights up my life! :D

(I know the last two lines are hilarious, but I wrote this poem in jest and it suited the mood and the flow, I was happy writing it, so didn’t change anything)  :)
written while preparing for exams on 12th may 2013 at 12:45 pm

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

It felt so right 'to me'

I held onto his every word,
I believed everything, he said
blind to the core
where the fuck was my head? =0

Proud of my brains,
intelligent than the rest,
that's what I thought,
about myself,
till I met you!

You who put everything in perspective,
I know now, I too do have a heart
Cause otherwise it wouldn't have hurt so much.
I thought I coudln't cry for anyone
except myself, but now I cry every night
For could I not see
it clearly then?
How could I be so stupid?

Even now when I know the reality,
Why do I still believe everything he said,
At times when I am alone or even
when with people
A song or a line reminds me of him
tears well up my eyes and I cry.

My gut feeling was always right,
but this is proving me wrong,
and that hurts more than anything
it felt so right 'to me'
But it felt so right 'to me'

Written during the end of March 2013 in class.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

It’s very difficult for me

Look it’s very difficult for me
To pretend as if everything’s all right
When nothing is going right between us
It’s difficult to keep laughing
When all I want is to cry
 I like talking to you
But when we have to part
Talking everyday to you
Will only make it harder for me later
Having said that, do whatever you feel is right
You know better
I don’t want to hold any hard feelings or grudges towards you
Please don’t make it hard for me than it already is!

Written on 14th February 2013 – Valentine’s Day bwahahahaha 

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Crossroads

Crossroads always come in your life
You choose one and let the other go
I always chose the one – right, good, practical for me
But, this one time it’s difficult
My life changes if I take the wrong turn, take the wrong pick or go with the wrong option
But no, it’s not only about that
Had it been, I would have been hesitant
In choosing my education, profession, even my location
But this one time, it’s different
Matters of the heart, fuck up the head
Rose coloured glasses, blur your vision
Confusion, utter madness takes over
And this frustration wells up my eyes
And I cry.

Why is it so difficult to let go and move on?
Why is it so difficult to forget and start anew, afresh?
All will be, all right in time to come
My heart will heal and pieces fuse back into one,
But this period, of deciding to hold on or let go,
Is difficult, it’s killing me.
No I am not depressed,
I can still laugh and make people laugh,
Still do my work well, and go out and shop
But despite all the pretense, the outward appearance
I know something’s amiss
I am not me anymore
And I want this to end.
I am afraid of taking a wrong turn, choosing the wrong bend.

Crossroads always come in life,
You choose one and let the other go,
That is how we grow!

(I hope I am able to choose right and grow out of it soon)

Written on 12th February 2013

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Sometimes I feel...

Sometimes I feel you mean so little to me,
Do I even love you?
Love you enough as to stay with you for long even if not forever!
Then I go back through all the memories we’ve shared,
Through all the stupid pranks and silly fights,
Our nicknames and code words,
My laughter that echoes through years that have passed,
Between you, me, between both of us.
Would I have it someone?
Would I like to have it with someone else?
I am unsure,
But when I have in you all that I need,
Why should I look for another you?
You mean a lot to me,
Yes I love you,
Love you enough to stay with you for long and maybe even forever!

written on 14 november 2012, 12:34 raat ko