The Shortest Poem

In July that year, when he first showed me emotions,
I saw a person who could cry for me,
Who felt pain if i was away. :)

But in April this year, when I saw him lie on my face,
It all came crashing down!
End of story. 


(Written at my Maasi's place while I was out with my parents, last piece written about my breakup. Will never write anything about it. Doesn't deserve that space in my head or heart anymore. And I thought he cared. :I )

27th May 2013, 05.04 pm. 

I bought your freedom

I bought your freedom my soft toy,

My green bunny, my cuddly boy

For this day, I saved my cash

So I could buy things and make it match,

Our expenses were almost the same,

He spent a little more, but he earned as well

I am still in college, so you can tell

How hard it must have been for me

Right in front my break up, I could see!

I could see it clearly coming my way,

So I did the best I could to pay,

Him somehow the money for my cute little baby,

Cause I knew that is something I could never give up, maybe

A clever decision, I am proud of it now

Decluttering my life, getting space to grow.

I bought your freedom my soft toy,

My green bunny, my cuddly boy!

Today when removing all those memory triggers from my life,

I am glad I literally ‘bought’my bunny back!

Leaving him would’ve be even more painful than the actual breakup,

It was love at first sight,

It was love at first sight,

His bright green fur, lights up my life! :D

(I know the last two lines are hilarious, but I wrote this poem in jest and it suited the mood and the flow, I was happy writing it, so didn’t change anything)  :)
written while preparing for exams on 12^th may 2013 at 12:45 pm

Ups and Downs...

Ups and downs in life 
Come and go
I cry, I fell down
Back on my toes
Got a broken heart 
Put a band-aid, off I go
All said and done I know one thing for sure
I love my dad the most!

I wish to find someone like him,
But seeing people around, I drop my whim
My dad is creative, intelligent, a helping hand
But most of all he loves my mom so much
It shows in his eyes.
There love so strong, 
There love so sweet.
How could I ever find someone like him!?

Oh papa, I love you and my heart cries for another you,
Who could love me as much as you do,
Can I truly find another you?

Ups and downs in life 
Come and go
I cry, I fell down
Back on my toes
Got a broken heart 
Put a band-aid, off I go
All said and done I know one thing for sure,
I love my dad the most!

Written sometime in April 2013 :) 

It felt so right 'to me'

I held onto his every word,
I believed everything, he said
blind to the core
where the fuck was my head? =0

Proud of my brains,
intelligent than the rest,
that's what I thought,
about myself,
till I met you!

You who put everything in perspective,
I know now, I too do have a heart
Cause otherwise it wouldn't have hurt so much.
I thought I coudln't cry for anyone
except myself, but now I cry every night
For could I not see
it clearly then?
How could I be so stupid?

Even now when I know the reality,
Why do I still believe everything he said,
At times when I am alone or even
when with people
A song or a line reminds me of him
tears well up my eyes and I cry.

My gut feeling was always right,
but this is proving me wrong,
and that hurts more than anything
it felt so right 'to me'
But it felt so right 'to me'

Written during the end of March 2013 in class.

It’s very difficult for me

Look it’s very difficult for me

To pretend as if everything’s all right

When nothing is going right between us

It’s difficult to keep laughing

When all I want is to cry

 I like talking to you

But when we have to part

Talking everyday to you

Will only make it harder for me later

Having said that, do whatever you feel is right

You know better

I don’t want to hold any hard feelings or grudges towards you

Please don’t make it hard for me than it already is!

Written on 14^th February 2013 – Valentine’s Day bwahahahaha 

Crossroads

Crossroads always come in your life

You choose one and let the other go

I always chose the one – right, good, practical for me

But, this one time it’s difficult

My life changes if I take the wrong turn, take the wrong pick or go with the wrong option

But no, it’s not only about that

Had it been, I would have been hesitant

In choosing my education, profession, even my location

But this one time, it’s different

Matters of the heart, fuck up the head

Rose coloured glasses, blur your vision

Confusion, utter madness takes over

And this frustration wells up my eyes

And I cry.

Why is it so difficult to let go and move on?

Why is it so difficult to forget and start anew, afresh?

All will be, all right in time to come

My heart will heal and pieces fuse back into one,

But this period, of deciding to hold on or let go,

Is difficult, it’s killing me.

No I am not depressed,

I can still laugh and make people laugh,

Still do my work well, and go out and shop

But despite all the pretense, the outward appearance

I know something’s amiss

I am not me anymore

And I want this to end.

I am afraid of taking a wrong turn, choosing the wrong bend.

Crossroads always come in life,

You choose one and let the other go,

That is how we grow!

(I hope I am able to choose right and grow out of it soon)

Written on 12^th February 2013

Obsessed with words

You are obsessed with words,

More than enabling, they set limits,

You ask us to write a frame,

As if it’s a story.

Off course every photo has a tale,

But when we have ink, pen and our hands,

Why can’t we just draw it out?

Easier for us to get the message across,

Easier for you to understand,

More close to reality.

Why are you then so obsessed with word?

Words that set limits,

Words that are ultimately just words,

Not visuals to please the eyes.

Sir, in the end I have just one thing to say

Why stress the brain,

When you can soothe the eyes!

< I had written this for a professor who i find cute as a teddy, but didn't like him at all when he spoke about writing out "photographic' frames and explaining them :( when one could just draw them >

Written on 23^rd January 2013 at 12:13 pm 

Sometimes I feel...

Sometimes I feel you mean so little to me,

Do I even love you?

Love you enough as to stay with you for long even if not forever!

Then I go back through all the memories we’ve shared,

Through all the stupid pranks and silly fights,

Our nicknames and code words,

My laughter that echoes through years that have passed,

Between you, me, between both of us.

Would I have it someone?

Would I like to have it with someone else?

I am unsure,

But when I have in you all that I need,

Why should I look for another you?

You mean a lot to me,

Yes I love you,

Love you enough to stay with you for long and maybe even forever!

written on 14 november 2012, 12:34 raat ko 

Why you so scared?

Why are you so scared?

So shit scared of all?

I know you are new,

But give it some time,

A lot of times happiness grew,

Out of sadness my friend!

Accepting that you are afraid,

Afraid of the dark, strange faces and all.

Acceptance, will lead you to overcoming that fear,

Help you stand tall and never make you fall.

I will still be there always to catch you in my arms,

Would always love you for who you are.

Don’t be so scared,

So shit scared of all,

I know you are new,

But give it some time,

A lot of times happiness grew,

Out of sadness my friend!

I know you so well,

I know you inside out,

I know you my friend,

You pour your heart out.

I don’t want to shout,

I don’t want to scold,

I want you to learn,

Just help you break out!

Don’t be so scared,

So shit scared of all,

Just give it a chance,

Just give it a try.

[this poem is dedicated to a friend of mine... :) ]

A tiny ant: life lessons

A tiny ant also lives a life,

Eats, drinks, reproduces in prime,

Goes on living day by day,

Following a trail those before him lay,

No choice, no will

Till death makes them still.

It’s up to us what we want to be,

Just live and die or make history!

Still ants can be our guiding light,

Not everything’s dark,

There’s always something bright,

Ants cannot see, they have no eyes

Yet no strife or hungry cries,

They work as a team,

Not selfish nor mean,

A colony of 1,000 ants,

Power of unity is the chant.

Nothings too big,

Nothings too small,

Take the rice, and throw the husk apart.

Is this Delhi that I see?

While going through my college diary I stumbled upon this poem that I had written in the beginning of June 2010, when preparations for Commonwealth Games were in full swing. Here is the poem: 

Is this Delhi that I see?

No birds, no plants, no greenery

Beautification of the city they said

‘Men at work’ the signboards read

Bricks, mortar, cement, and stone

New structures have been grown

Colour, fragrance, liveliness

Nature spreading happiness

Sweet songs of birds and bees

Pure air and the cool breeze

Now replaced by oil and grease

Smoky air that makes you sneeze

Is this Delhi that I see?

No birds, no plants, no greenery.

2010 Commonwealth Games

It was the culprit to be blamed

But is it right and is it fair

Blame not one it should be shared

Wrong has been done, everyone’s to blame

It was not ‘them’ cause ‘we’ had claimed

Beautification by cutting down trees

Progress and growth that’s what we see

Isn’t it so foolish, isn’t it so lame

Putting natural beauty to artificial shame

Cement structures and stony lanes

Done all this for Commonwealth Games

Oh when will this attitude change?

‘Growth’ by cutting tress isn’t it strange

Not measured by the structures built

But by the trees that we have killed

Can’t change it now we’ve done it all

Letting buildings grow & trees to fall

We’ve done it all

We’ve done it all.

Is this Delhi that I see?

No birds, no plants, no greenery.

Manto says the blame’s on all

I had written this poem in my first year of college. The poem has been written in the memory of Sadat Hasan Manto – the famous writer – who always preached non violence. The poem tells us Indians to stop our attitude of shedding blood every now and then.

Manto says the blame’s on all

But who cares, we are ready for the fall

He wrote short stories, 250 in all

But who cares, we are ready for the fall.

1947: the year we were free

We went on a killing spree

Brotherhood forgotten, love long lost

Let’s see today, who slaughters the most

Manto was shaken,

And so were the rest

Birds were scared,

Even in their nests.

Some said, ‘its all because of these British

Before they came there was nothing amiss’

We accepted it then

Felt good for the heart

After all we are Indians,

Pretty smart.

Years passed Manto was dead

Trotting trudging lives we lead

Thought we had rewritten our past

So 1984 left us aghast!

Mirrored the same old violence and vengeance

Our thirst for blood wasn’t quenched

For a hollow identity

For something so fake

How could we put our everything on stake?

No one spoke, not only the khadi-clad

Not even you, me or any common lad

Soon we forgot soon we were back

Our normal lives again on track.

1992 our throat ran dry

Long time didn’t see anyone cry

Hunger for some more blood

A little more shroud

How could we live without - it

Our staple diet!

More blood, more gore

Still chanting ‘more, more’

This wasn’t all

Just a bigul ‘call’

A lot was left

Grief, lust, theft

Houses broken, broken hearts

Broken into pieces, shreds and parts

Jigsaw puzzle, did we think it so?

Lives can’t be fixed, they are meant to grow.

It happened then,

It’s happening now,

Only numbers remain,

As years move on.

Manto is dead,

And so will be the rest,

We didn’t care then,

We don’t care now.

So let’s accept our fault, and put a halt

This killing spree must come to a stop

Manto had said the blame’s on all …

                    the blame’s on all …